No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
