i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
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I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
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i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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