I cut my penus on the lid.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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