people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I am available for nakedness
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
