You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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