FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
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