He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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