bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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