i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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