So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
