So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
