Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
