oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
