i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
