It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
