They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
