at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
