dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i already hear my dad disowning me
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
