You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
