After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize