wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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