Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
