He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
