Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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