Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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