I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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