...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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