Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
