out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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