I skipped work to stalk him.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
