I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
