HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
