I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
