Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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