I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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