Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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