she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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