Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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