therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i came on her dog
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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