I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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