I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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