We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
