U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
