She is in my trunk
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Randomize
