Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
