On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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