is your mom at the bar?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
