yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
