im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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