nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
