FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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