so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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