i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
