New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
