Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
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