he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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