Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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