Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
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did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
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When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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