ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
